My Fear of Public Speaking

I didn’t always have a fear of public speaking. I was a confident child; I would happily answer in class and participate in class discussions. I even sang in front of the school twice without any fear. However, by the end of primary school, I began having issues with my speech. I would often rush my words and stutter when I spoke. This could be traced back to every day at primary school when my friends and I would hurry over to my parents in the playground to tell them all the gossip, and I would rush to speak first because they were my family. To sum up, I believe this is why I stutter and rush, leading to losing my confidence. 

That lack of confidence was heightened in secondary school because everyone became so much more judgmental. I wouldn’t answer in class or do presentations, and I let opportunities pass me by. I always remember sitting in my class and having to choose who was presenting for our team. My team picked me because they knew I stuttered and thought it would be funny. I went to the teacher to say what had happened but he didn’t believe me and told me I had to do the presentation. I was so scared of being laughed at that I didn’t come to that class and just hid in the bathrooms. Not many people would get to know me because people would have to become close friends with me before I showed my true personality and got out of my shell because of my fear of being made fun of. That fear never went away—not even a wee bit—through my whole six years at secondary.

Fortunately, people in university are less judgmental, which I discovered during my second year. Since I do a business degree, that comes along with group work and presentations, which were some of my fears as they involved talking to people I didn’t know or presenting in front of a whole lecture hall. After figuring out that people at university aren’t judgmental, I pushed myself out of my shell and started to volunteer to be a group leader or talk in front of the class. I think this is also due to me finding my friends in university who built me up. One assignment that pushed me out of my comfort zone was a group debate in front of the whole class. This project propelled my confidence. Not only was I able to hold a debate in front of the whole class, but the lecturer also complimented me after and said he wouldn’t want to get into a debate with me.

I have only soared from there as the feeling of accomplishment outweighed the feeling of judgement. I still feel the trembling fear that I am going to stutter and mess up what I am saying, but no longer am I scared to be laughed at because I’m surrounded by the right people.

I have only continued to grow out of my fear of speaking because I have taken on more responsibilities in my life. An example would be the radio shows I co-host. Hosting a radio show means a lot of talking and of course, I stutter, but I can let it go like water off a duck’s back because I have fabulous co-hosts who always support me. We have also hosted games nights to raise money for our radio station which includes standing up in a room and talking to large groups of people. Doing this has made me realise what I might have missed out on for all those years of secondary school. But rather than dwell on the past, I focus on how amazing the opportunities I have now are, and think about every other opportunity I’ll have for the rest of my life.