My First Real Relationship
I say first real relationship because I don’t count past ones only because it was primary school they would last a week or two and you would just go out to say you had a boyfriend/girlfriend. After years of being single, it was time. I was sitting in my English class on the first day of S3 in Secondary school so I was about 13 years old and a boy called Evan walked in. I'd only seen him a few times around the school, but something told me to call him over to sit next to me. As he walked over to me another one of his friends called him over so instead of sitting next to me he was behind me.
We spent the rest of the year chatting away during English, breaks and lunches because his friends talked to my friends too. Feelings were definitely growing, and I told my best friend how I felt about him. One night when I built up the courage I thought I'm going to ask him out
So, I sent him a message expressing my feelings but sadly he said didn't share the same feelings. We decided just to stay friends. So, we did but I couldn't shake this feeling we were meant to be together. After learning he had a girlfriend that he had just started dating right before I asked him out. I waited a year with this feeling that wouldn’t go away until he broke up with his girlfriend and soon after asked me to be his.
It's four years since he asked me out and we've grown together, shared so many memories and learn so much from each other. Honestly, it's the best decision I've made and I don't regret anything. He has made my life brighter, happier, and more cheerful. Through our relationship, we have always been each other's biggest supporters in anything we choose to do in our lives. Another thing I'm grateful for is how we handle challenges in our path. I hear about couples arguing, breaking up and then getting back together again but we have never had this problem. If something goes wrong we both talk to see how we're feeling then we work together to come up with a solution and within 10 minutes there's no problem and we are hugging and getting on with the day together.
In a relationship you are a team not against each other, work together to have fun and make each other happy. I'm so thankful that I trusted my gut and didn't give up because now I can't imagine my life without him. Compromise is a big part in relationships try and blend both of your ideas together to make a unique and amazing day. Taking interest in their hobbies and learning about them is an amazing decision I've made because I've learned so much and I do so many more things like hiking, listening to more music genres, watching more movies genres and going on adventures around Scotland.
Things I value most in a relationship are:
Respect
I feel mutual respect is a must have in any relationship without respect you have nothing, and your relationship will fall apart if you don't respect one another. Respect is about the right to be yourself and to be loved for who you are. Ways to do this are: talking openly with one another, valuing each other’s feelings and needs, speaking kindly to them and supporting each other throughout your journey together.
how to handle conflict
You and your partner should feel comfortable bringing up things that have bothered you without feeling undermined and that it will just end in a shouting match. You've got to bring anything that is bothering you up, let both say how they feel about the situation, take time to breathe, understand and validate the other's opinion and work together to find a solution. There is no point in having a shouting match because it will make no one happy; you should see your partner is hurting and think about what you can do to make them feel better.
Trust
You have to fully trust your partner; doubt is never good in our relationship. Trust brings safety into a partnership. You need to know that you can tell your partner anything and they won't judge or tell anyone. Trust is also about when your partner goes out and you know nothing is going to happen that could ruin the relationship. So, you don't feel insecure about spending time apart ways to do this are openly communicating, setting defined boundaries and talking about commitment. There are many more such as loyalty, listening, humour, empathy, and maturity.
I’m so lucky I met an amazing man at such a young age that I can see spending my whole life with.
